Oh My Lanta
So in 52 days, I’ll officially be a senior. It’s truly hitting me. I’m sitting here trying to find a place for my school supplies, and I’m realizing, this is the last year, that I don’t have to pay for it( my lovely grandparents buy it for me), the last year I only have to buy two novels, instead of textbooks, and this is the last year, that buying cute stuff kind of matters. This is my last summer that I’ll be walking into target and only buying binders, pens, and notebooks. Next summer, I’ll be buying lamps, storage, bed spreads, and a mini fridge. Holy Hotcakes.
This is my last summer, to be a TEENAGER. My last summer as a minor… My last summer to do crazy stuff, without getting into deep trouble, other than with just my parents… This is my last summer as a high school student. My last summer with actual free time.. AND, it’s my last summer in New Jersey. (YEE-HAW! <3.) This is my last summer, with my family being close by, and the friends I made over these past 3 years. My last summer with restrictions. My last summer of dreading it to be over…
This is my last year, as a kid, stuck under the impressions of “ I can totally do the real world.” The last school year to make my mark. The last year to make my moves for my college career.
This is the year, I have to worry about applications, loans, acceptance fees, essays, SATs, acceptance or declined letters. The year I have to wake up and see the world for what it really is, a dog eat dog world. The year I have to look for a new job, the year I have to learn how to pay for not just a phone bill and food.
This is the year I have to balance an AP Class, an Honors class, bullshit classes, work, and traveling down south every couple of weekends to work on our new house. I have to balance everything while packing up my life to move states away, and still keep my life here balanced while starting a new one down south.
This year, even though it’ll be jammed pack with all that’s on my shoulders, I will make this MY year. I will make sure I don’t forget a single thing this year. It will all be memorable. And luckily, I learned a lot, more than most, in my last 3 years of high school. It’s time I grow up, but still have loads of fun. ;)
I wish all of my fellow seniors the best of luck this year, and let’s make this the best year of our lives.
And to the under classmen, ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!
Prom 2013 <3
I feel so alone…
I feel like i’ve lost everyone….
My friends barely even talk to me anymore,
my parents don’t want to listen to me,
my boyfriend doesnt even show affection or act like he cares,
my ex, who knew me the best, can’t even talk to me without a fight,
i have no one to run too,
i sit in my room crying every night,
the worst feeling in the world is knowing you’re alone, but having no clue why,
Everyday i go out of my way to make people smile and do something for someone else,
and all i get in return is being alone….
I can’t take the isolation anymore… =/
someone needs to save me,
because crying just hurts too much anymore…